It's that laugh you force when you are trying to pretend you are amused by something that's really not funny. It's the nod that appears to say "I understand" or "Yes, we are on the same page" or "I agree" when, in all reality, you could care less. It's the affirmative grunts or noises you make on the phone such as : "Hmmmm" or "yeah" when you haven't really even been listening to what the person on the other end is saying. It's the "Hi, how are you doing?" as you pass by some acquaintance you've only met a few times and you can't even remember their name. It's pretending you are completely fine when, in actuality, everything inside of you is telling you to cry or yell or run away or just plain nail the sucker right in the chin. The other person will never know these intense feelings you are experiencing, however, because you are so good at faking it.
We all do it, this fake thing. I have done it so many times it's sickening. I think it's caused by a fear that if you actually say or do what you are thinking, you might never be able to repair the damage. So you just sit there and smile and nod every once in a while, and continue to be fake. You are happy and comfortable in your little world of secrets, behind your fake mask. How different would this world be if everyone spoke their mind instead of only saying things they think others want to hear?
And then you have those people who know you so well, you just can't fake it around them. You can try as hard as you wish, but they can see right through you. "How are you?" they ask. "Good" you reply. "What's wrong?" they immediately catch on. "Nothing" you try to fake it. "Come on, spit it out." They stand there staring into your soul and you feel naked. "Dang!" you say to yourself, because nothing ever gets past them. Then you spill your guts, cry a little, and feel better. I wish the world was filled with more people like that. Best Friends.
Quote of the day
- Amy Bainbridge
- It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money. ~ Jack Handy - Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live)
5 comments:
I was trying to figure out why this was titled BFF's, and when I got to the end I understood. You are such a good writer! And I agree with you on the fake thing. I claim that I can't be fake, but even I fake a laugh at times, or am not listening sometimes when I pretend to be. Good thing some people are pests and try to force things out of you! Good post!
Honesty works out so much more in the end. Well, I guess unless it's that kind of mean honesty meant to only get something off your chest and then not help the person hearing it. That kinds bites.
But I agree with you. Honesty=Happy
I like this. I am mostly not that great at being fake. I wish I could fake it a bit more at times.
Man, I feel like I'm always the last one to post on your blog. And all the "good job"'s, "Amy you rock"'s, and "Dang I so agree with you"'s are already said. But one thing to help be more transparent, like me, is to be shallow, like me.(This is where you grunt like mentioned in the blog...)
There is a time to be fake and a time to be real...Like faking sick for example. I used to fake sick all the time...I guess it'd be hard to call in sick to my current job though. The boss wouldn't hear of it!
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